Listening to Emotions Instead of Fighting Them
When something difficult happens, it’s common to feel like your emotions are getting in the way. Maybe you shut down. Maybe your feelings seem too intense. Or maybe you’ve been told to “calm down” or “stay positive”—messages that make it easy to believe that emotions are the problem.
But what if emotions are actually your body’s way of helping?
That’s the powerful shift behind a recent staff exercise led by our therapist, Kirah Doerr. Drawing on insights from a training by Sarah Alexander of Brave Acorn and incorporating work by Karla McLaren and Heather Giasson, the exercise encouraged us to explore a perspective described by McLaren:
“Your emotions don’t create problems—they arise to help you deal with problems.”
– Karla McLaren
A Mindful Moment: What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You?
Kirah guided our team through a reflective, body-based practice designed to help us tune in to what we’re feeling—not to change or fix our emotions, but to better understand their role and purpose.
Here’s a simplified version of the process, along with examples to help you reflect more easily:
- Settle Into the Body. Find a comfortable position. Breathe deeply. Notice what it feels like to be in your body right now. You don’t need to label your emotions—just notice how they might be showing up physically.
- Bring a Situation to Mind. Think of something from your week that feels unresolved—a decision, a moment of conflict, or a feeling that lingers.
- Example: Maybe you had a tense conversation with a friend that left you feeling unsettled all day, but you’re not sure why.
- Or maybe you’ve been procrastinating on something important and can’t figure out what’s getting in your way. Notice how your body reacts. Is your chest tight? Is your jaw clenched? Is there warmth, pressure, or stillness?
- Get Curious About Your Response. What thoughts come up? What do you tend to do in this situation—pull away, over-function, hold your breath? What do you avoid? And is this pattern familiar from other areas of your life? These patterns often reflect how you’ve learned to respond to strong emotions.
- Notice What’s Needed. If this situation felt easier, what would be different? What would help?
In our staff training, we looked at a list of qualities—like grounding, resolve, task completion, and secure attachment—that emotions might be trying to support. You can try naming your own or see what naturally comes to mind.
Matching the Emotion: What’s the Gift Here?
Once you’ve named a quality that might support this situation, try to match it with an emotion. For example, maybe the need for boundaries connects to anger. Or the longing for connection might be linked to grief.
When you slow down and engage with your emotions consciously, they often reveal a gift—something they’re trying to bring forward to help you navigate the situation.
It’s okay if you’re not sure what emotion is present. The goal isn’t certainty—it’s curiosity and openness about what might be showing up.
Emotions as Messengers, Not Enemies
This practice encourages a very different view of emotional experience. Rather than seeing emotions as disruptions, it positions them as wise, active participants in how we navigate the world.
As Kirah shared with our team, many people—including those who’ve experienced trauma or disordered eating—are taught to distance themselves from their feelings, disconnect from their bodies, or try to categorize emotions as “good” or “bad.” But this disconnection can make it even harder to understand what you need or how to respond.
Reconnecting with your body can be a powerful way to hear what your emotions are already trying to tell you. With time and practice, what once felt overwhelming can become informative. You begin to recognize the patterns, the needs, and the possibilities.
What If Your Emotions Are Working for You?
Instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this feeling?” try asking, “What is this feeling trying to show me?”
You might discover that fear is asking for safety. That frustration is asking for change. That longing is pointing you toward connection. Emotions don’t cause problems—they respond to them. And they’re often the first signal that something important needs your attention.
Learning to listen to your emotions—especially if you’ve had to set emotions aside to get through difficult situations—can take time. It may feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable at first. But this process isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about building trust with yourself—and your emotions—one moment at a time.
This kind of trust takes time to build. And sometimes, having a supportive guide can make the process feel a little more steady.
Looking for Support in Understanding What You’re Feeling?
At Mindful Mental and Behavioral Health PLLC, our therapists help clients reconnect with themselves through emotion-focused and body-aware approaches. Whether you’re exploring long-standing patterns or simply trying to understand why certain situations feel so charged, we’re here to support that process.
Let’s work together to explore what your emotions are trying to tell you. Schedule an Intake Appointment or call us at (207) 316-2609 to get started.
Want to try this reflection on your own?
Download our free worksheet: “Exploring the Wisdom of Emotions”
