When Your World Is Turned Upside Down
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard,” pondered Winnie the Pooh. It’s true. Saying goodbye – grieving for someone or something we’ve lost – is a universal experience. We all grieve for something or someone at some point in our lives. Although many people think that grief relates to death, it is relevant to so many human experiences: life changes from chronic illness, losing your career, divorce. These and other experiences can cause a deluge of emotions that are difficult to process. Grief may even turn into depression. At what point does that happen? How do we know?
Broken Heart or Something More?
Grief can be so overwhelming we cannot function. It comes over us like a tsunami, all encompassing, overwhelming, uncontainable. When we experience a significant loss, it shakes us to our core, and nothing can stop it.
When we experience depression, we may descend into despair, an abyss from which it is seemingly impossible to ascend again.
On the surface, there are many similarities between grief and depression, but there are places where the two experiences diverge.
Where The Paths Divide
It’s sometimes difficult to tell where grief ends and depression begins or vice versa. While grief is typically caused by a specific loss or event, depression can occur even in the absence of a specific event.
Some experiences common in grief are:
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Being overcome by waves of emotion,
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Feeling like you’re in a bad dream,
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Feeling as though your world has shattered,
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Feeling sad, overwhelmed, sorrowful,
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Not knowing who you are or what role you play now,
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Yearning deeply for the person (or experience) you’ve lost.
Symptoms common in depression can be:
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Moving noticeably faster or slower than usual,
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Feeling as though your emotional distress is coming from inside of you,
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Feelings of sadness, emptiness, doom that last instead of ebbing and flowing,
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Feelings of worthlessness,
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Inability to find any positives in your life.
Both those who are grieving and those who are depressed often feel fatigued, sad, guilty, have difficulty sleeping, and eat too much or too little. They may have difficulty concentrating or lose interest in things they formerly enjoyed. The differences between grief and depression can be nebulous, but grief and depression are distinct experiences. For example, a grieving person might retain their sense of humor and feelings of worthiness while a depressed person rarely feels positively. Another complicating factor is that grief can trigger a depressive episode. A depressive episode triggered by grief won’t necessarily reoccur, however, provided the grieving person has moved through their grief. Understanding the differences between grief and depression is important for the impacted individual and the people supporting them.
Changes in the Brain’s Structure
Our brain’s are made up of both gray and white matter. Gray matter helps us with decision-making and problem-solving, while white matter helps us communicate information. During times of chronic stress, there is an imbalance with the production of white and gray matter, which can result in permanent changes to the brain’s structure.
Stress can also affect the brain’s ability to form new cells. While the brain can still create neurons, studies show that in times of chronic stress, these new neurons tend to die within a week.
With all the impacts of memory loss, production of matter, and brain cell formation, the brain itself can actually shrink in size. When constantly exposed to intense stressors, people are more likely to experience brain shrinkage. This means that chronic stress can make it harder to deal with future problems.
Healing
While healing from grief, depression, or grief-related depression is daunting, there is help and hope. In both cases, individuals benefit from extreme self-care such as:
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Eating nutritiously
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Some form of daily exercise, even if it’s brief
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Spending time in nature
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Journaling
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A creative outlet
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Community
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A mindfulness practice like meditation
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Developing a sleep routine
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Collaborating with a therapist or another mental healthcare provider
Mindful Mental and Behavioral Health PLLC
Our therapists and Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioners (PMHNPs) can help you work through your grieving process or manage depression. We offer therapy and medication management services for grief treatment and depression treatment. Contact us or schedule an appointment today. We are here to help when you need us.
