There are a lot of ways you can measure how a month went, but sometimes it’s easy to miss a genuine look at where you’re at beyond the productivity or milestones.
Sometimes, we default to what we finish, what we didn’t get to, how busy we were, or whether or not we kept up with expectations. If you take a moment now to go a layer deeper than your calendar and to do list, you may find that a monthly reset is actually an opportunity to reconnect with yourself again.
It’s hard to notice where you’re at when things keep moving quickly around you, so taking a moment to yourself can be a great way to see the full picture. Whether it’s been a month that’s challenged you, surprised you, excited you, or simply went by just like the rest, this is your opportunity to hear yourself with an intentional check in.
You Might Not Know How You’re Doing Until You Stop Long Enough to Notice
Take a moment to think about the last time someone asked how you were, and what your automatic answer may have been. It’s likely that something along the lines of “good, busy, tired, or fine” came out, while inside you might be holding onto context that’s not always expressed.
Here’s what that can look like:
- Underneath “busy” might be excitement about something you’re building and resentment about how much is being asked of you
- Underneath “tired” might be a need for actual rest, but it could also be boredom, loneliness, overstimulation, or the feeling that you’ve been taking care of everyone except yourself
- Underneath “good” might be a desire to share more about the ways you’re showing up for yourself in ways people don’t see
- Underneath “fine” can be a mind that’s so overwhelmed it can’t even think about starting to put thoughts into words for someone else
You don’t need to assume there’s stress or burnout or unspoken grief hiding underneath every feeling, because sometimes we really are just good, or fine. This is more about bringing a certain level of intention to see if that truly is the most authentic answer or if there’s more there to be heard, even if that’s simply a check in you’re having with yourself and no one else.
That’s part of what makes intentionally checking in with yourself meaningful. You aren’t searching for a problem, or diagnosing yourself as “good” or “bad” this month. You’re giving yourself enough quiet time and focus to notice what’s already there, so you don’t let feelings or emotions get buried underneath the fast pace of life.
Think of This as a Conversation With Yourself
A monthly check in can look however you’d like it to. Some people may be drawn to a more structured journaling or meditation moment, while others might just think about the month and reflect naturally while in the shower or over a meal. You can share this with someone else, or just see what comes up when you’re thinking about getting honest with yourself.
If it’s helpful, we put together a set of reflection questions that you can use in the way you feel most pulled. There is absolutely no wrong way to check in, whether you use these questions or get inspired to do something that’s so uniquely you that it lands much better as you move from month to month.
Start wherever something catches your attention.
1. What has this month actually felt like?
Without focusing on how it looked from the outside or in anyone else’s opinion, what did it feel like for you to be in the past few weeks?
- What moments felt especially good?
- What felt heavier than I expected?
- When did I feel most comfortable being myself?
- When did I feel like I was going through the motions?
- What have I been carrying quietly?
- What am I genuinely proud of?
- What do I wish someone had asked me about?
2. What Keeps Finding Its Way Back Into Your Thoughts?
Think about the thoughts that show up when things finally get quiet.
- What is the conversation you keep replaying?
- What is the decision you keep revisiting?
- What’s been something you’re looking forward to?
- What’s been something you keep telling yourself you “shouldn’t” care about?
- Is there a change you can feel yourself wanting, even if you aren’t ready to make it?
3. What am I learning about myself?
As you think about the answers coming to mind, maybe you notice you need something specific like courage, patience, or permission to change your mind. Maybe you notice a shift in how you’re showing up that you’re proud of and want to give yourself credit for because its been too easy to overlook. Maybe there’s something clearly calling your attention that you need to focus on as you enter the month ahead. Take some time to think about what feels true to you.
4. What Have Your Relationships Been Bringing Out in You?
The people you spend time with (or don’t) can tell you a lot about yourself, and where your time and energy feel best. Connections are so important so taking a closer look each month can help you nourish those that fill your cup and create some distance around anything or anyone leaving you drained.
You might wonder:
- Who have I felt most like myself around?
- Where have I been editing myself?
- Who do I wish I had more time with?
- Where have I been hoping someone will understand something I haven’t actually said?
- What conversations have left me feeling closer to someone?
- Where have I surprised myself by speaking up?
- Is there somewhere I’m ready to take up a little more space?
Notice the Version of You Who Has Been Moving Through This Month
It’s natural for you to pay attention to what happened over the last few weeks and forget to notice how you moved through it. You might have had something really challenging happen, but you also see how much strength, love, and self care you brought forward to help move through it. You could similarly have had an objectively amazing month from the outside, hitting major milestones at work and getting praised by your friends for still managing to show up for every social outing. Underneath that, you might also find that you were actually exhausted and felt yourself pushing too hard.
These insights help you figure out where you’re landing to close out one month, and what (if anything) you want to shift to enter a new one. As you dig below the surface, you can get even more information that helps you be intentional about the way you want to show up.
That can look like:
- Realizing you handled a difficult conversation with more confidence than you would have a year ago, and wanting to trust yourself more
- Recognizing that you accomplished everything you set out to do, but rarely felt present enough to enjoy any of it, and deciding that productivity doesn’t need to be the only measure of a good month
- Seeing that you felt lighter on the weekends when nothing was scheduled, and becoming more protective of leaving some space unclaimed
- Recognizing that you spent a lot of energy anticipating what other people needed from you, and getting curious about what might change if you checked in with yourself before automatically saying yes
- Realizing that something you’ve been calling “a busy season” has actually been leaving you depleted for several months, and allowing yourself to consider whether something needs to change
Don’t Miss the Evidence That You’re Growing
When you’re focused on where you still want to grow, you may just overlook the ways you already have. This is where giving yourself credit matters. Any growth journey or dedication to personal evolution can make it feel like you need these huge signs of progress, but what if it’s simply noticing where you’re becoming more aligned to who you are and who you want to be instead?
It can help to think about yourself six months ago, a year ago, or even at the beginning of this month. What do you understand now that you didn’t understand then? What feels easier? What are you less willing to tolerate? What are you more willing to ask for?
What have you stopped apologizing for? What feels more like yours to decide? There may still be plenty you’re figuring out, but let’s take a moment to honor the ground you’ve already covered.
Before You Move Into Another Month
You don’t have to make a list of goals, intentions, or an action plan for a monthly reset to feel good. Actually, it might be a freeing exercise to ditch the need to change everything, and focus more on reflecting in a way that shows you natural ways that you want to continue caring for yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
One of the meaningful parts of therapy is having somewhere to bring the things that are difficult to untangle alone. We’re here to help you get clear on what matters to you and support you as you’re making decisions to make more space in some areas while releasing in others.
To explore our team and find your person, you can always self schedule a free intake call here.
